Being requested become part of a person’s marriage must a genuine honor, it didn’t think option to me personally. This is why when a classic college pal revealed she was marriage, we dropped to
be a bridesmaid
whenever she offered it. To start with I thought terrible, but I discovered I dodged a bullet because she was a
complete Bridezilla
.

1. 
   It felt completely wrong to turn her down, but I experienced to trust my gut.
   
   This wasn’t a determination I made lightly. My pal and I was basically really close many years ago but we eventually drifted aside. We noticed we had beenn’t actually as comparable when I’d thought, but there wereno tough emotions between you. When she turned up out of nowhere and asked me easily’d be certainly one of the woman maid of honor on her behalf future marriage, my personal center fell.
2. 
   I became afraid of just what taking on that position would mean.
   
   It wasn’t that we had beenn’t near anymore which had been generating me hesitate—I became in addition afraid because she had been rather bossy and really high-maintenance. I really don’t consider i possibly could manage everything tension! From the thing I remembered about the girl, she had been
   always bringing in crisis
   into the woman existence and producing those around the woman freaking unhappy.
3. 
   I organized a face-to-face meeting to turn the woman down.
   
   I did not like to decrease the woman present via text—that merely thought too impersonal—so We welcomed their out to coffee as an alternative. She ended up being so thrilled to meet up beside me, which helped me feel even guiltier, but I’d to stick to my personal guns here. It will be several months of preparation, outfit fixtures, an such like, and that I could not invest in that.
4. 
   To manufacture things even worse, she delivered myself a present.
   
   She really brought myself a bridesmaid gift, which had been rather presumptuous but forced me to feel worse in any event. It absolutely was a pretty relationship bracelet that almost persuaded me to change my mind because she’d gone to plenty difficulty. But she could see anything was actually wrong as soon as she requested me personally easily was okay, I made a decision to inform the girl what was back at my mind.
5. 
   I hoped she’d understand.
   
   I shared with her that I didn’t feel it absolutely was suitable for us to end up being the woman bridesmaid. I mentioned how exactly we’d drifted aside so we were not actually in touch anymore, so it believed weird to stand right up on her at the woman marriage. Just what assisted me personally inform their all this work was the assumption I got that she’d understand. We clearly
   cared about my good friend
   , but we surely was not section of her nearest-and-dearest family any longer. She had to understand that, right?
6. 
   She played it cool at first.
   
   Fortunately, there was clearly no opposition from the woman side. She appeared to get where I was originating from and that I remaining wanting that circumstances happened to be good between you. I became still thrilled becoming a guest at the woman marriage, i recently didn’t want to be part of the main wedding invitations aus party. We even pointed out that I became really looking forward to it to ensure she knew I found myselfn’t raining on the procession or something.
7. 
   It wasn’t until later that she dropped the bomb.
   
   She texted me afterwards that day and bluntly finished all of our friendship. WTF? Not merely did she point out that she believed it was best if we ended being pals, but that she’d choose it easily don’t attend the woman wedding as a guest. Ouch.
8. 
   I became completely shocked.
   
   We discovered subsequently how much cash I’d harm her by decreasing the woman bridesmaid offer, but which hadn’t already been my objective. Surely, she’d had the oppertunity to see that by the way I’d met up with the lady and spoke to the lady? I’d wished to be open and sincere with her, but demonstrably she’d observed me as actually awful and disrespectful. I attempted to describe all this via book to
   rescue the commitment
   but she was not having any kind of it. Exactly what more was actually we meant to carry out?
9. 
   Cheers, drama king.
   
   Just like the many hours passed, we began to feel she’d done myself an enormous benefit by stopping our very own friendship. I didn’t wish to be her bridesmaid, but large freaking price. Relationships should not feel just like prison sentences. Because a pal could not do something on her behalf, it didn’t mean she needed to become a complete tyrant about this. I found myself nonetheless offering my personal help to her but she clearly did not need it. I’d made the right decision and ended up being pleased simply to walk from the her and all of the woman drama!